From Instinct to Intent

The importance of confidence for leadership growth

More Than a Coincidence

Confidence in leadership is not the absence of doubt, but the deliberate choice to act with clarity in the face of it. Looking back on my journey—from my early days leading software teams by gut feel, to developing more intentional, values-aligned leadership practices—I’ve come to realize that confidence is both a product and a catalyst of growth. It evolves not just from achievement, but from awareness, feedback, and reflection.


When I first stepped into leadership, I had no formal preparation. What I lacked in training, I made up for with instinct, discipline, and an unwavering belief in high standards. I hired with character in mind, delegated early, and set the bar high. This instinctive confidence served me well; it earned me trust and responsibility. But over time, I noticed something: while my team delivered results, I wasn’t always enabling them to thrive as individuals. My confidence was external—it lived in outcomes, not always in relationships or reflection.


That realization was a turning point. Through structured feedback (from 360 reviews, team surveys, and peer input), I began to see blind spots—particularly around individualized motivation, recognition, and my own self-awareness. A recurring theme emerged: others saw me as confident, but I didn’t always feel that way inside. My Johari Window results captured this perfectly: “organized, confident, adaptable” sat in the blind spot quadrant—qualities others saw in me but that I had yet to own fully.

The Importance of Regular Self-Reflection

Confidence, I now understand, is deeply intertwined with reflection. It grows when I pause to examine my impact, when I recognize and celebrate my strengths, and when I accept feedback not as criticism, but as a compass. Writing weekly leadership reflections has become a ritual that grounds me. It helps me surface not only areas to improve but also moments where I showed up well—where I led with clarity, empathy, or resilience.


My leadership growth is most evident in how I now approach motivation and culture. Where I once relied on public shoutouts and occasional praise, I now intentionally build moments of recognition into every 1:1. Where I once delegated tasks for efficiency, I now do so for development, matching opportunities to individual growth paths. And where I once led from the front, I now lead beside—coaching, encouraging, and sometimes just listening.

The Future Only Comes From Intent

But perhaps the most significant shift is internal. I no longer equate confidence with control. I see it as alignment—between my values, my behaviors, and the needs of those I lead. Confidence now means stepping back when someone else needs to step up. It means asking better questions. It means holding space for discomfort in pursuit of growth.


As I look to the future—toward roles of broader influence, perhaps as VP of Engineering—I carry with me this understanding: true leadership is built on quiet confidence. Not bravado, but belief. Not certainty, but curiosity. It is a practice of becoming—a little more self-aware, a little more connected, and a little more courageous each day.